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I didn’t see it coming

Late last night, I found myself wide-awake, pondering the words the Lord was pouring into me. I thought to myself, “I should get up and write these down,” but I wasn’t planning on blogging about this. I felt this was more than I wanted people to know about me, but the Lord was persistent.Back in 2012, I was doing my lesson plans for our school year, and out of nowhere the Lord spoke to me and said, “You’re going to be a surrogate.” I wasn’t sure what to do with that. At the time, I saw no way to do it, so I tucked it away in the back of my mind. Over the years, there were times I thought now must be the time, but the Lord would softly whisper to me, “not yet.” I patiently waited until May of 2017. At our women’s retreat, I found myself talking with a friend about this very subject, then we continued our weekend. I forgot all about it until Julie sent me a message two months later asking if I still had the desire to be a surrogate. She put me in contact with a friend of hers from high school who had been looking for a few years. After meeting with the couple, I knew this was it.

We started all the logistics of things, and in July I started meds to prepare me for transfer day. Through this whole process, I had faith that God had put this whole puzzle together. I didn’t question Him or this process once. I for sure thought that after the transfer day we can get excited about being pregnant, and do all the fun stuff that comes with that. I had weeks of checking my HCG levels every few days and finally we had an ultrasound scheduled, only to find out that this pregnancy was going to end in a miscarriage.

I had brought my oldest daughter with me to the ultrasound appointment, thinking this would be an exciting experience that we could share, but instead, we were given the saddest news. We were there another 45 minutes, but it was silence. I didn’t have the right words to say. I was still processing it myself. I have never been through this. I went home to drop off my daughter and went to find a place to have some alone time with God. I cried a lot. I had so many questions for Him, and I didn’t understand. I can’t stress enough how much I didn’t see this coming; I just did not doubt that we would have a successful pregnancy the first try. After a week of pain and going through the process of the miscarriage, I started to feel like myself again. I still felt a sense of loss and confusion. I pondered and wondered why, just why??? I’ve learned a few things through this process; God doesn’t make bad things happen, but He does promise to make good things come from it. I have held onto that promise. I learned that having big faith even when things don’t go the way you want is ok. You didn’t fail. I am also learning that it’s ok to grieve about it, to know that it’s not over and we will try again. You just can’t stay stuck there. God didn’t say, “You’re going to have pain, and I want you to stay there and let it consume your life,” He did say, “Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

I know that I have been forever changed by this and have empathy for women who have experienced this. This is something I wish no one had to go through!

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Recipes

Taco soup

One of my very favorite dinner recipes is taco soup. It’s so easy to make and the crock pot does most of the work for you! If you have a big family like mine this is plenty to feed them. This recipe has a lot of wiggle room to change ingredients or add more to it. Also what you want to garnish it with. soup

Ingredients:

  1. 2 lbs of ground turkey meat
  2. 32 ounces of vegetable stock
  3. 1 can of corn,2 cans of black beans,1 can of kidney beans,1 can of diced tomatoes & green chiles.
  4. half of an onion
  5. 3 packets of taco seasoning
  6. Shredded cheese & cheez-its for topping

Directions:

  1. brown the turkey meat & onions in a skillet until completely cooked.
  2. Add vegetable stock, diced tomatoes& green chiles to the crockpot.
  3. Strain all the beans before adding them to the crock pot.
  4. Add the turkey meat & onions once they are done cooking in the skillet.
  5. Add all three packets of taco seasoning, stir and let it cook either on high for 4 hours or low for 6-8 hours.
  6. When serving add shredded cheese & cheez-its ,Enjoy
Recipes · Uncategorized

Southern style Buttermilk biscuits

I believe everyone in the south should know how amazing buttermilk biscuits are. Here is my personal recipe .

Ingredients:

  1. -2 cups all purpose flour(plus some for dusting the counter)
  2. – 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
  3. -1 tablespoon baking powder ( without aluminum)
  4. – 7 tablespoons of unsalted butter (put in the freezer for about 15 minutes before using)
  5. -1 cup of buttermilk ,I personally use a higher fat whole milk buttermilk

Directions:

  1. Preheat the oven to 450
  2. I combine the butter & 1 cup of flour into a food processor to get the butter as close to a grit like texture.
  3. Now add all dry ingredients including the flour & butter you just mixed in the food processor.
  4. once all dry ingredients are mixed at the 1 cup of buttermilk and mix gently.
  5. take your mixer to the counter sprinkle some flour on it first then gently knead your dough,if you over knead it will make your biscuits hard.
  6. Pat down your dough to about 1 inch then use a round cutter to start cutting into rounds.
  7. As you get done cutting knead together the scrapes to make your last few biscuits.
  8. I love to cook mine in a cast iron skillet ,but if you don’t have one a baking sheet will do,just put your biscuits touching each other so they don’t come out crusty.
  9. This recipe will make about 10 biscuits depending on how big you make them.
  10. Bake at 450 for 10-12 minutes. Then enjoy!
Recipes · Uncategorized

Who doesn’t love food

one of my very favorite things to do is to cook. When my husband and I got our first apartment I remember being excited about cooking for him. I soon realized I was horrible at it and the recipes weren’t as easy as they seemed! I am so thankful for Elijah’s Aunt Novella she took her time to teach me to cook. She was very patient with me as I often messed up. I soon got the hang of this cooking thing and really started to enjoy it. Now fourteen years later it’s something I am amazing at, I love to cook for my family and entertaining others at our home. I am often giving out my recipes and favorite go to’s for dinner. I decided to share on here once a week one of my personal recipes. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do!

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Disconnecting from the world to reconnect with God

What do you do to distance yourself from the stress of everyday demands? How about when you just want to hear a little more silence? For me, it’s camping with my family. We go to The Cohutta wilderness. Just a few miles south of the Tennesse border, it’s beautiful. There’s a little secret spot not many people know where it takes a bit longer to get to, but We never have to worry about it being filled up or too noisy. There is a river that is just a hike away from swimming in,hours and hours of playing in the river is soothing to the soul. Listening  to the birds chirping, or the trees moving about, along with the sound of the river is music to my ears.There’s no need for an alarm clock or bedtime, just enjoying time with God, family, and relaxing under the stars while the fire is roaring and  crackling as it burns the wood we found earlier that day. Call me crazy, but I could live there forever! I know I can’t and that my trip will be over before I know it, but it’s so peaceful, time slows down,  God seems so much closer and his words more clear. What would happen in our lives if we never took the time to disconnect? For our family, we would burn out quickly. The things we enjoy most would soon become tiring. The less time I spend with God, the more I focus on this world. That’s where you will see things more frustrating and pointless, don’t let it get there. No matter how important your deadlines are, or the endless to do lists YOU need time away with God. Plan a camping trip with your family, make fun memories, enjoy the s’mores over the bonfire, kids will only be young for a short time, and our everyday tasks will still be here when we get back.

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If you love reading as much as I do

The books will be listed in the order I read them, not by how I would rate them. Personally, I love them all! It took me about 2 years to get through these, If my life only consisted of eating and reading, I would have had it done in a few months. These are my personal opinions from reading them. I hope you enjoy.

1-    Having a Mary Spirit by Joanna Weaver.- This is a great story of a Pastors wife on a journey with God to change her from the inside out. She shares her heart about how we can sometimes let everyday stuff rob us of our joy and cause us to get further away from God gradually.

2-    Fasting by Jentezen Franklin.-Jentezen Franklin is an amazing Pastor at Free Chapel, I would encourage you to look up his Podcast and listen to some of his sermon’s.  I loved this book when I started to learn about fasting this was my first choice to dig in and know more. As he uses his own personal testimony to share what God has done and is doing during seasons of fasting it gives you hope to know it’s not just for him, But anyone who wants to become closer to God.

3-    Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.-This book is educational along with inspiration. Joyce has a way of delivering the truth to you without overwhelming you by it. Knowing that we can help our current situations by changing our thoughts. Knowing what I have learned in this book has helped me tremendously. You can read my story in my previous post titled “Juggling life in peace.”

4-     The supernatural ways of Royalty by Kris Vallotton & Bill Johnson.- I have followed Kris Vallotton for a few years now, his teaching is prophetic with testimony from his own life. This book is a great read, Understanding who we are as Gods children. We weren’t made just to scrape by or to have a miserable life. This book will encourage you to have hope and excitement for what God wants to do in your life.

 

 

 

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Juggling life with peace

Have you ever started your day dreading all the things you know needed done?  Or has life just seemed to consume you, like no matter how hard you try there are always problems? You might be lacking peace. I did for way to many years of my life. I let everyone’s problems, drama, and hard times consume my energy and my life. I thought about it to much, I wanted to fight for them. That caused my life to be filled with termoil,  anger and bitterness. I thought it was my job to solve them or pick sides. if I thought about it long enough I would have the perfect answer. I also had my own baggage I was carrying and it was much easier to focus on other problems then my own. I ignored my own struggles and emotional frustrations hoping if I did that long enough they would just go away. I was so wrong it drained me of energy, exhausted my family, it took my attention away from the ones that really needed it. As I grew closer to God and the more I depended on Holy Spirit the less I wanted those things in my life. I started focusing on asking God to heal me. I know it wouldn’t happen over night, but I knew something had to change. In  phililippians 4:6 it says “Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God.” It wasn’t easy at first to give God my issues, but it became easier over time. He has the answers, the solution and the right timing. My mom once told me “you don’t have control over what others do or say but you do have control of how you respond and that is powerful”. Today my life looks a lot different, of course there are times I will catch myself  trying to do it again, but instead of letting it consume my time for days or weeks it will bother me a few moments then it’s gone. I let it go I trust in God and his truth to handle it.

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